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HaterWhat are you looking at? My innocence? My fragility?
You think of how you can destroy me, aren´t you? How you can make you feel better.
But you are just a disturbance in my life. You make me stronger with all that you are.
Your bitter words. Your hate.
You can´t reach me. You did a long time ago. But that´s over. I´m over you.
Meeting myselfI´m little bit scared to share this, cause i don´t understant it yet. But i´ll try.
I never thought it would be possible but yesterday happend really weired things.
Well i was watching the musicvideo "The kill" by 30stm 2 days ago. again and again. Its a tribute to the horror movie "the shining". The "actors" (in that case the members of 30stm) were in a hotel which is absolutely empty. nobody´s there. just them. and after a time they are meeting theirselfs. which scared me. and i know it sounds weired but i´m not really scared. specialy horror movies. but meeting myself scared me. and when i saw jared leto screaming at himself " I tried to be someone else But nothing seemed to change I know now, this is who I really am inside Finally I found myself Fighting for a chance I know now, this is who I really am" it hit me. I couldn´t stop thinking about how it would me to meet myself. Would I scare me? Would i made different decitions? And how would
The meaning of wordsPeople call me crazy, hyperactive and depressive. But whats the meaning of all these words? I mean. If you think of people who are crazy it´s meant negativly. Like someone who´s going to be in a mental institution. But even if theyre saying. "Girl your too crazy! I will leave!" They are staying.
And hyperactive. This are people who can´t controle theirselfs, In fact it´s a mental disorder. But i´m not. In no way. I would rather say i´m thinking to much.
And depressive? Just because I´m seeing more than just the "sunny" side of life and deal with it doen´t mean I´m depressive. And even if i were, would it matter?
I mean they are my friends and just because I´m trying not to lie, not to hide myself doesn´t mean I´m a bad person or strange.
I think everyone should think of the words their saying. Cause everything is a little truth. But when we use them wrong it can´t be real.
(Do you understand what I´m trying to say?)
Wrong side of the mirrorI can see a woman, watching me through the glass. She is young, in her early twenties, with a haunted look about her. There is nothing especially spectacular about her, but something something quietly remarkable draws you in; captures your attention; fixes you to the spot.
Her eyes are a slate grey, intense and piercing; a dark energy smouldering in their depths. You notice that they glow a deep blue, like the ocean, when caught by the morning light, sometimes even the shade of a pale winter sky. A subtle ring of gold accents the border between her pupils and irises, which hold a faint sparkle of mischief against their black voids.
A shock of tight, red curls, messy yet somehow precise, frames her face. The sides of her hairstyle are trimmed short, not quite a mohawk; showing her natural gold-tinted brown. You could almost imagine her as one of the blond, adorable, cherub children, if not for the shadows of experience marking her features.
Beautiful is not a word that suits her, and de
When Home Becomes a Prison (Strength)When your pillow is no longer the fresh place to lay your emaciated spirit
But is now the chain on the ball that is your bed.
When a door is no longer the entrance to a retreat from the world
But a metaphorical lock keeping you ensconced, never stepping foot out into it.
When windows suddenly become looking glasses that never break,
Just heckle you with what you're missing in their transparent prisons.
A token of what you used to be in the faces of the people walking passed.
The people who pay no note to you;
Who have no inclination of what they are; the symbols of your long-ago life.
The sharp splinters of nostalgia that just glimpsing upon their face sends into your heart.
Every time they walk their dog,
You grimace because you cannot walk long enough to do the same for yours.
Constant reminders in everything everyone does in everywhere you go
of the things you are losing without control.
You clutch and grasp while slipping into sliding as you clasp onto what is left o
Dear JamesI placed a candle on the water for you today. It flickered and floated and gathered with candles of other losses; fathers, friends – whoever. It was as hard as letting you go; if that candle drifted away from me then would I lose you again? When they scooped the candle from the water and your flame went out who would remember that I honoured you? So I took your candle from the water and placed it into my bag. Not because I can’t let you go but because I want to remember. I will light that candle to remember you on special days.
James darling, I missed you more today than any other. I know I will miss you more again at Christmas, on your birthday and on the day you died. You are an angel but you are still with me – in the heart covered by the tattoo of your name. The ink came from within, seeping up through my skin and not down.
I am grateful for the two sonograms I have of you, yet part of me yearns to know what your face would have looked like. Would you have his thi
SaturdaysBrought into this world on a rainy Saturday morning
No memories of the years that follow
Until the pain
Eyes of a beast
Tears of a child
Walls subconsciously building to keep the child safe
But are the walls for safety or containment
Blood and bone breaking
Screaming into the night
True Love: Part one
Finding true love yourself, it is quite rare these days. But once you’ve met your special one, once you’ve looked into their eyes, you will know that something big is about to happen, if you realise it or not .. it will.
You will know deep inside, when your heart starts to skip a beat, when you want to simply grab her and kiss her until you both run out of breath.
True love is not about what you have to offer, is about how much are you willing to give, to share and sacrifice for her. It is about trying to make her happy at any given point, out of nowhere, cause you wanted so. It is about sharing your thoughts with her, telling her that you’re scared of losing her someday .. she will simply kiss your nose and tell you “silly, you’re never going to lose me”.True love is beyond physical attraction, if two souls get united, the reaction will be so powerful that absolutely no one can separate you, ever.
DreamsDreams are merely dreams...but sometimes they reflect your deepest desires, don't they?
He stole my breath away.
He was a stunning being, a mix of a man that I could not easily describe to you. With ebony-black hair and stormy gray eyes, he captured my heart in an instant. At times he would tower over me, lovingly, his presence nearing mine, and I could feel the warmth from his body.
"Sometimes I wish I could just steal a smile from you," he murmured easily. "Write you a love poem. Give you roses. I want to love you like love from the past."
I blinked, and smiled slightly back at his beautiful face. "Why the past?"
He shrugged, then he stared at me defiantly, with the Mexican pride I knew so well. "Love from even a generation ago, it was different. An innocent love, a subtle, tender thing that was cultured from a simple fire. And it grew into a tremendous passion, showing a respect of sorts. I want to show you that I love you, not just tell you. I want to appreciate you, respect you
Hidden Language"Is he ok?"
Is he alive?
"Is he alright?"
Is he breathing?
"Is he sleeping?"
Is he dead...?
Stay or Leave?"Don't get mad. I don't like it."
"Don't cry. I don't like it."
"Don't be sad. I don't like it."
"Don't smile. I don't like it."
"Don't laugh. I don't like it"
"Don't be you. I don't like it"
Then what am I supposed to do?
Then who am I?
You're saying you don't like me.
But you stay with me.
To change me into someone else
So that I don't exist anymore
I'm tired of it
I'm tired of changing
But I don't stop
I'm able to but I don't
Because you are the only one left
If you're gone,
I'll be left behind
All over again
But if you stay
I won't exist
But it wouldn't matter anyways.
I'm A Ghost (A sad true story by Apocalypse Titan)August,
It was a happiest month ever. Got a lot of watchers on DeviantArt, make a lot of money, couldn't wait for GTA V to be released Next Month, and everything. I felt happy.
I have my first Twinkie, and dreamed of flying in the air with a mountain full of Twinkies. Wednesday, got my GTA V video game from Gamefly and played it all night long. At Friday, it was hell as my parents are fucking assholes when they force me when I nearly run out of money by ordering pizzas for them.
My life have changed forever. It was my 21st birthday. Drew a drawing of me and Somy and a lot of my watchers said, "Happy Birthday". Saturday, we went to the Casino for the first time, had a buffet and lost my birthday money. Felt half drunk and I promised Somy if I win, I'll buy her a graphics card or any games on Steam. Now she's okay with this.
It was raining on Halloween, so they canceled the trick or treating and decided to
Ein Blatt PapierAn manchen Tagen möchte ich wie ein Blatt Papier sein.
Leer. Unbschrieben. Ohne Vergangenheit. Ohne Zukunft.
Eins von vielen. Unbeachtet im Schwall von Tausenden.
Nur wenn es an einem glücklichen Tag jemand beachtet,
beschreibt, kann etwas aus ihm werden.
Äußere Einflüsse bestimmen es.
Aber am Ende würde es doch nur ein Blatt Papier bleiben.
Die Frage ist doch: Sind wir nicht alle ein Stück Papier?
Eins von vielen. Untergehen in der Masse?
PetalsThe grass tickled between her toes as her father toiled away with the roses by the letterbox. She watched his fingers weave between the thorns to pat the soil around each bush, humming to some John Lennon song she couldn't put a name to. Despite the sun just tipping the horizon, she saw sweat prickling his brow and his eyes squinting against the light. The fine lines on his face were suddenly accentuated by shadow, and for a moment, she swelled with wonder.
'Maria, come here,' he said, waving her over. 'You're not going to learn anything sitting all the way over there.'
Excitement sparked her limbs into motion, and she crawled over to sit next to him, careful to tuck her skirt beneath her thighs to avoid the dirt.
He picked up a pair of clippers from beside him. 'Now, you need to snipe back these diseased parts here and there from the base of the plant. It helps it grow better.'
Snipping off two pieces of wood with ease, he deposited them in Maria's outstretched hand. Their rough textu
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More